When I saw this quote it was like it was made for me + the season of life I’m in. I have been a mess. If you follow me on Instagram you know a little bit about it. Today I’m sharing what life has looked like for the past month. My hope is that it will help others to know that they are not alone + its going to be okay.
A little back story: I have horrible, crippling anxiety + have been on medicine for it since July or 2020 + its been great. I fought it for so long but am so happy that I stopped fighting + accepted the help. I was on the same medicine for about a year a half when I needed to change because it just wasn’t for me. It look the anxiety away to a point but it didn’t let me feel like me + I had crazy side effects from it.
I ended up changing my anxiety medicine back in November + it was AMAZING! I was in tears to my Daddee that I FINALLY felt like me in almost 2 years. It was so refreshing! I finally felt like I was going to be okay. That I was over the worse of it ya know? Well about that ha!
This all started a little over a month ago when Christmas night I woke up with excruciating + debilitating abdominal pain. It was like an Eagle has its talons in my small + large intestines + was just squeezing the crap out of them. Then while this was going on I was on fire. I’m assuming it’s what a hot flash feels light. And you’re so nauseous that you want to throw up but you can’t. It was horrible. It would last for about 5 minutes + then I’d get about a 2 hour break before it started all over again. This went on for 24 hours. I’ve never felt pain like that before.
Once I was out of the woods from the stomach virus from hell my anxiety hit me like a truck + its still here. I’m worried about everything, I’m mentally + emotionally tired from just thinking about EVERYTHING + all the different scenario that could happen. It’s exhausting. I can’t stop it either. My brain is on overload + needs a break. I know this sounds very dramatic but this is what it feels like for me. It’s my reality.
Also, since the stomach virus from hell, my abdomen has not been the same ever since. I’m still getting the same pain I did that night only not as intense. I’m bloated a lot + just don’t feel like me. To be honest, its VERY annoying + I’m over it.
As I’ve been going through this I have been leaning so much on God + His word! It has brought me so much peace + comfort. He’s got me, only has plans for good + not harm. I’ve been remembering that Jesus said that we are going to go through trials + hard times but that we won’t go through the alone. He will go through them with us + get us through them. Now, I’ll be honest, it’s not always a comfort, but more brings me anger because I’m tired of it ya know? But more often than not its very comforting + reminds me it’s going to be okay.
Another thing I’m doing in this season is looking for the beauty in it [this season]. A beautiful sunset [Jenny doesn’t do sunrises ha!], a great conversation with a loved one, strengthening my relationship with God, going for walks + seeing the beauty that Winter has to offer, reading more, the list goes on really. All these things remind me that it’s going to be oaky.
I have a CT coming up to see if that will reveal whats going on + hopefully provide some answers for the abdomen pain. And hopefully the increased dose of my anxiety medicine will also help + I’ll be good as new ha!
If you are going through a rough season I encourage you to lean on God + His Word. I also encourage you to seek out any + all beauty around you. It really does make it a little more bearable.
I write all this in hopes that it resonates with someone + gives them the knowledge that they aren’t alone, inspiration/encouragement to keep going + hope that it’s going to be okay. I also really encourage you to speak to your health care provider for help + lean on your loved ones.
So tell me. How are you doing?! Tell me in the comments below! I’d love to know! Also I hope you know that if you ever need someone to talk to I’m always here. You can email me at Jen@sparkleandshinebright.com or message me on Pinterest + Instagram: @jennniferlynn11! I’d love to hear from you + connect!
Thank you so much for being here + reading ✨ Life Update … It’s Going to be Okay ✨ !! It means so much to me! 🤍✨
Always Sparkle and Shine Bright…
xoxo,
Jen