💖 Happy Valentines Day! 💖
With today being Valentine’s Day, I’ve been thinking a lot about love and connecting it to my vision of real, raw and imperfect. I had a very real and imperfect day this week. On Tuesday I was having a really bad day and I honestly have no idea why. On Monday when I officially “launched” SSB I was on cloud nine! The response I got from friends and family was awesome! I felt like I was on top of the world, filled with inspiration and I finally got that feeling that set my soul on fire! I went to bed with exciting plans for the next day of all the posts I wanted to write and the images I wanted to take to go along with them.
Tuesday morning came and I felt none of what I felt the night before. All the motivation, excitement, soul set on fire feeling were long gone. Instead I was filled with basically the opposite of that. I had zero motivation to write the post I wanted to post the next day, I had zero inspiration to think of anything other than starring at my iMac and watching the movie Thor and Thor 2 over and over again.
I went through the motions of the day just to get by. When I was done with running the errands I had to, I changed into my comfy clothes and climbed in bed and stayed there the rest of the day and night. It was a cold, rainy dark day that matched my mood perfectly. I had a lot of anger at myself for the way I looked at that moment in my sweats. But not only then but also in all past and current pictures I decided that moment was the perfect time to look them and critique them.
Later that night when hunger finally won out and made me get out of bed and go get food, I was in the kitchen when my youngest brother called me. He wanted to talk about Sparkle and why he was just hearing about it now when it’s been a “thing” for five years. He wasn’t mad, more confused. I have to admit, I was really surprised at how excited he was about SSB and how he thought it was a great idea for me and in general. And I still smile when I think of him saying, “This is really cool Jen, WE are going to make this a thing.”
As I chatted with him all the negative feelings went away and I felt all the motivation and inspiration I felt the night before return 10 fold. My soul was set on fire again and to be honest its been that way ever since.
Two things I took away from this day:
- I need to give myself grace and not be so hard on myself. I’m only human and am going to have those days. Instead of fighting it trying to be better and forcing myself to feel better and do better, I should have let myself feel those feelings without the anger and beating myself up for thinking that I can and should be better. I need to love myself the way I am now, on good days and bad- flaws and all. I need to love the real, raw and imperfect version of myself.
- My brother had no idea what kind of day I was having or that his phone call and excitement for SSB was JUST the thing I need to feel better. He had no idea that his interest in my idea would fill me with so much joy when he told me. He just said what he felt. Until he reads this, he still doesn’t know how much he lifted me up that night and how much I needed it. He had no idea this simple gesture of supporting his sister would be the catalyst for her to feel better. So thank you Baby Brudder!
We have no idea how our words and actions, good or bad are going to effect the person they are directed to. My brother had no idea that his simple loving gesture of reaching out to me to tell me how much he liked something I created would reinstate with me and how much I needed it then.
With today being the Day of Love- let us all put more love into the world today and everyday. We don’t know what people are going through or the scars they are baring from the battles they already faced. If everyone did one kind gesture, think of how many kind gestures would be put into the world! Millions!
The first kind gesture can and maybe even should be to yourself. The next time you want to critique the way you look, your job, education, a memory you aren’t fond of- give yourself some grace and love yourself- flaws and all.
Then go one step further and hold the door for the person behind you, when you’re driving, let the person in the lane, [you never know how long they’ve been waiting], smile at the person you pass in the mall or store for no reason, compliment someone if you like their clothing, or just because. These small gestures can make a WORLD of difference to someone and not to be dramatic- but quit possibly change their life, even for just that second.
I hope that today and every day really is filled with love for you and you feel it, whether it be from other person or yourself. And of course, don’t forget to Sparkle and Shine Bright ✨